Archive for the 'Anxiety' Category


They’re coming to take me away, ha! ha!

In a way, I hate to follow up something comparatively thoughtful like the poem in my last post with something as inane as this. In fact, I hadn’t really planned on posting anything tonight.

But since someone who shall remain nameless (yeah, right) has threatened to throw a temper tantrum if I don’t, here you go.

Be careful what you wish for………👿

In a really perverse, twisted kind of way, though, this post is kind of an appropriate follow up to the previous one.

-smith 😈


The Clowns are gonna getcha!!

In just the past week, no less than two of my friends, both normal, well adjusted men, have told me that they suffered from a phobia that I’ve never encountered in real life, the fear of clowns. It turns out it even has a name: coulrophobia.

So I did a little research, and what I found was fascinating. While it’s quite common for children to be afraid of clowns, I discovered that some experts believe that as many as one in seven adults never outgrow this fear. Like most phobias, symptoms can include shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea and overall feelings of dread.

Like most phobias, it is difficult to explain where this comes from. The most common cause is usually a bad childhood experience involving a clown. But there is another interesting theory about how this phobia develops. Because a clown’s smile is painted on, you can’t tell what the clown is really thinking. Is he going to give you a flower or go for your throat? That perpetual smile does something in the mind of the coulrophobe, who finds this inability to “read” the clown, along with the clown’s historic propensity for acting outside social norms (and getting away with it) so unsettling that it creates an unreasonable panic.

Google “fear of clowns” and a whole plethora of websites come up devoted to explaining and helping people overcome the phobia. Clearly, coulrophobia is no laughing matter.

Many famous fictional characters suffer from coulrophobia, encompassing such wide ranging types from Cosmo Kramer to obsessive compulsive detective Adrian Monk. Pasquale, the perpetual child in the comic strip “Rose is Rose” is terrified of clowns, as is Bart Simpson.

Alan Shore, the wily lawyer from the TV series “Boston Legal”, is so afraid of clowns that the normally glib attorney actually froze in a courtroom when the plaintiff, a clown, unexpectedly showed up for the trial in full clown regalia. Later in the episode, Shore claimed there was nothing unreasonable about his fear, describing clowns as “evil” and taking issue with parents who encourage their children to “simply trust them”. He eventually overcame his fear–with the help of colleague and former Marine Brad Chase–to the point where he is able to approach the clown, who allows Alan to squeeze his nose. (There’s a reason this is one of my favorite TV shows. I’m a big fan of the surreal.)

For a comprehensive list, (and boy, is it a long one!) click here.

And I always thought the lions were scary. By the way, if you suffer from coulrophobia, do not, under any circumstances, look at the picture below.

But if you LIKE scary clowns, check out this link.

Hey, I warned you!



RSS feeds anxiety

I’m so exhausted. I had one of those nights when I couldn’t sleep because an idea had taken hold of my brain and just wouldn’t let it go. Have you ever had one of those nights? A night where sleep just won’t come because an idea is burning itself into your brain like a 1000 watt spotlight and just won’t go out? That was the kind of night I had.

I kept having this dream, more like a vision, really, since all I could see was this big orange RSS icon, and then I would wake up, and one thought would be racing through my brain, making it spin like an out of control engine: “RSS feeds. I must do more with RSS feeds.”

Even as it happened I realized how weird this was. Up until about a month ago I didn’t even know what an RSS feed was, and now my subconscious was demanding that I do something with them, telling me that there was a void in my life that could only be filled with RSS feeds. I would fall asleep again, only to start dreaming about RSS feeds. I must’ve woken up the same way about six times last night. Always thinking about RSS feeds.

So what does it mean? Could it be Murphy‘s fault? Just the other day he was showing me something nifty he’s done with RSS feeds on his blog. Maybe this is a manifestation of the blog-envy I always feel whenever I visit his site.

Or is it perhaps my own guilty conscience pricking me over my blogslackery? Telling me I need to do more, more, MORE, and still more with this site, and that I will never be a worthwhile human being until the day arrives when I am on everyone’s RSS feed.

Or is it simply time to change my medication?

RSS feeds. What does it all mean? RSS feeds. Why now? RSS feeds. What do they want from me? I’m so tired. I have to go to bed now and stop thinking about this.

RSS feeds.
— Smith

taking up a glowing cinder with the tongs and lighting with it the long cherry-wood pipe which was wont to replace his clay when he was in a disputatious rather than a meditative mood" ~ Dr. John H. Watson ************************
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