a revision

I was touched by the positive comments left on “Some Wore Green”. It may surprise some of you to learn that, in truth, I was not completely happy with it, and even considered pulling it. I have revised it quite a bit. I think it’s better now. I’d be curious to know what others think. This will teach me to publish something before it’s ready. 😦

And many thanks to my friend (and occasional cyber-therapist), Spaz–a damn good poet herself, by the way–for helping unstick me when I was stuck.


3 Responses to “a revision”

  1. November 12, 2007 at 8:22 pm

    Any poet worth his salt has something tug at his arm about every piece he pens.
    I have revisited work months later and tweaked the language.
    I found “Some Wore Green” heartbreaking and the final stanzas filled with mental imagery
    difficult to escape once I turned from the page. Very fine work that.
    Just my impression, I felt you built the front of the poem to support the final ideas.
    That is always a difficult task.
    I rarely comment on any blog because I am usually caught up in thought about what has been presented. I appreciate your comments on my little blog and humbled that you
    find my poetry engaging. I will make it a point to find more time to read yours.

    Hey, Beto!

    Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for the kind words. You really seem to have gotten into my head here; the points you touch on are pretty much what I was thinking about when I wrote it, and furthermore when I revised it.


  2. November 13, 2007 at 1:55 am

    Thank you.

    Oh, no…it is I who must thank you. For many things.


  3. November 14, 2007 at 7:18 am

    Damn, I get stuck on comments. I get stuck all the time.

    You’re doing fine. 🙂

    Excellent poem.


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