Imperial casket

I wish I could claim this was entirely original, but I can’t. This was inspired, (ok, stolen) from a postcard that my coworker Bill received at the store today. The bit that follows was written by one of our customers (yeah, we get ’em all). I’ve taken the liberty of tarting it up a bit, but the following is basically what was written on the postcard. That’s the great thing about where I work: you just never know what’s going to happen next.

Dear Bill,

Our database shows you are soon to celebrate another birthday; thus you are moving one more year further from the first and direst of all disasters, which is birth. Namely, your birth.

In any event, we here at Imperial Casket Co. want you to be ready for the day that is fast gaining on you with each passing birthday, the day on which you shuffle off this mortal coil and pass on to either a better place, or simply lapse into eternal oblivion. Either way, it can’t be any worse than this.

So do yourself a favor and call us at 1-800-HE’S-GONE and let us help you with some advance planning with this extremely important (not to mention final) decision.

And, lest we forget, have a Happy Birthday.

If you make it.


Your Pals at the Imperial Casket Co.


3 Responses to “Imperial casket”

  1. 1 ~m
    August 26, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    you make bunny cry 😉

  2. August 26, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    I was going to call the number to see if it’s valid, but I can’t find my phone….

  3. August 27, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    Sounds like a really bad “over the hill” joke, LOL.

    It amazes me how companies like to depress someone when all they want is a little celebration. Did he get a postcard for Depends too? 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

taking up a glowing cinder with the tongs and lighting with it the long cherry-wood pipe which was wont to replace his clay when he was in a disputatious rather than a meditative mood" ~ Dr. John H. Watson ************************
visitor stats
Click to see full version by whos.amung.us
Click here if you want to learn the truth about second hand smoke
A Boston University Physician exposes the fallacies of the anti-smoking movement.

My Guests

  • 226,655 visitors
Murder of Ravens' RSS feed

What they’re reading

Everything you want to know about the movies of today and yesterday. One of my favorite websites. If you love classical music, you have to visit this site.
August 2007
« Jul   Sep »

Thoughts from the Past

Creating Order from Chaos


%d bloggers like this: