13
Jul
07

I told you these things were evil…

I hate the iPod. I hate how it epitomizes an entire generation’s obsession with being entertained on demand. I hate the relentless marketing that tries to make me feel like a lower form of life for not owning one. I hate how our society is inexorably lapsing into an electronically induced isolationism. Remember when you actually used to talk to the person sitting next to you on the train, or standing next to you in line at the bank? Those days seem to be going the way of the pocket watch and the leather backed book.

Whenever I see some teen or twenty-something wandering around in an iPod induced haze I am overcome by this urge to surreptitiously push the volume button as high as it will go and liquefy their brain, no real loss since they rarely use it anyway. Of course, this assumes that I could actually find the volume button, which I probably couldn’t since I have sworn never to own one of these odious little devices.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, it now appears that an iPod can put you in the hospital. Yesterday a teenager was struck by lightning as he was wearing his iPod during a lightning storm. Thankfully he survived, but I’ll bet he’s not exactly rushing out to get a new one, unless the lighting has totally pureed his brains. Maybe that leather backed book is looking a little more attractive to him right now. You can read the story here.

One always likes to have one’s opinions validated, especially by the Supreme Being. God agrees with me. God hates iPods too.

-Smith

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10 Responses to “I told you these things were evil…”


  1. July 13, 2007 at 9:07 am

    In a way I have to agree, but then again, I’m not much of a people person, lol. I bought my wife an ipod for her birthday and she uses it instead of a cd player at work. I use it while I’m cutting the grass and I have to say, it’s much easier to tote around than a portable cd player. It’s handy when used in a way that doesn’t completely isolate ourselves from our surroundings. And to use one while in a storm?! That’s just asking for it, lol.

    Some people just need to be removed from the gene pool, I guess.

    -sps

  2. 2 Red
    July 13, 2007 at 10:26 am

    I dont own one. Probably never will.

    I always said you’re my kinda gal. 8)

  3. July 13, 2007 at 10:51 am

    oooh, listen to you! Are you sure you’re only 45? 🙂
    I don’t have an ipod either; but I probably will someday.
    Never say never…..

    I can turn on the “cranky old man” mode with the best of them. 😉

    -sps

  4. July 13, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    You’ll appreciate this true story. I take the bus and although I really like one of the regular bus drivers (always smiles and says ‘hello’), I’ve been in trouble three days in a row.
    Day one, he urged me to hold my ticket up so that he could read it
    Day two, he urged me hurry off the train, or else take local transit rather then jumping on his long distance bus (which I save 50cents on), as he shouldn’t be delaying his departure to transport local people.
    Day three, the train was late and so I ran for the bus while fiddling in my bag to make sure I find the ticket AND hold it up properly for him to read it, trying hard to make up for my ‘screw ups’ the former two days. I was so focused that I didn’t realise I still had my headphones in my ears(not Ipod but cellphone). I did hear him say ‘thank you’ but was too stressed/distracted to reply. So he points to my headphones and says with a reprimanding face: “You’re welcome!”.
    Guess he thinks I am one of those anti-social, unfriendly people you describe above.

    then he clearly doesn’t know you the way we do. 😉

    sps

  5. 5 Sam
    August 3, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    Wow. Finally. Someone finally said it. Thank you. Thank you for saying it and with such authority. And God? You’re probably right. He liked to hang out and talk to people. Kind of hard with your ears plugged, huh? Yeah. I think God hates ipods too.

    Well, great minds DO think alike. 😉

    -sps

  6. August 23, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    I knew I was not Ipod tech savvy. Evidently I am Ipod clueless. Until I started reading the post I was wondering why you had a picture of a colostomy bag posted in your post.

  7. 7 psipsina
    August 27, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    You left out the worst part – the people who crank the iPod volume way up so everyone around them can hear it, even the people at the opposite end of the subway car. I want to shake them and say, “Dude, you know that the point of having those earbuds is so other people don’t have to listen to your terrible taste in music.”

    This has been getting worse, too – just a year or two ago, it was comparatively rare to be able to hear someone else’s music. Now I can hear almost everyone’s. I guess as they use the iPod more, their hearing gets worse, and they have to crank up the volume, and then their hearing gets worse …

    I actually bought a noise-cancelling headset for myself so I wouldn’t have to hear that horrible tinny sound. I use it straight up, no iPod.

    Oh, and thanks for visiting my blog over the weekend.

  8. August 29, 2007 at 9:31 pm

    Remember Steve Jobs is likely an options-cheating CEO who is getting richer* by selling us millions of pieces of plastic and electronic junk that will foul the social and biological environments long past our bone-dust days.

    So, be a hepster and throw off the yoke into which the digirati are trying to market us. Take a stand against trying to live down to the totally uncool images splashed on billboards world-wide!

    Isolating

    Polluting

    Odious

    Device

    Hepsters of the woild unite! It’s never too late to send it back to Apple with a nasty letter.

    * Jobs sold his San Remo pad for a cool $15 million to Bono….seems Steve never even spent a night there…and Bono would tell us how to live to save the world while somehow rationalizing another path for his family………..

  9. 9 JCOLE
    January 13, 2008 at 11:50 am

    You have a pretty solid argument. But, you come on way to strong in the beginning by saying “I hate the Ipod”. A reader would see that and then anticipate seeing an argument talking about the actual physical Ipod, or the software used with it. Also, Your argument is not to convincing because you talk to specifically about a group of people who use the Ipod. You should have gotten more general and made the argument appropiate for not only the people who use it every five seconds, but also for the people who don’t.

    Welllll, you may be taking me a little too seriously here. The post was largely tongue in cheek. thanks for stopping by!

    -sps


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