Archive for July 13th, 2007

13
Jul
07

I told you these things were evil…

I hate the iPod. I hate how it epitomizes an entire generation’s obsession with being entertained on demand. I hate the relentless marketing that tries to make me feel like a lower form of life for not owning one. I hate how our society is inexorably lapsing into an electronically induced isolationism. Remember when you actually used to talk to the person sitting next to you on the train, or standing next to you in line at the bank? Those days seem to be going the way of the pocket watch and the leather backed book.

Whenever I see some teen or twenty-something wandering around in an iPod induced haze I am overcome by this urge to surreptitiously push the volume button as high as it will go and liquefy their brain, no real loss since they rarely use it anyway. Of course, this assumes that I could actually find the volume button, which I probably couldn’t since I have sworn never to own one of these odious little devices.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, it now appears that an iPod can put you in the hospital. Yesterday a teenager was struck by lightning as he was wearing his iPod during a lightning storm. Thankfully he survived, but I’ll bet he’s not exactly rushing out to get a new one, unless the lighting has totally pureed his brains. Maybe that leather backed book is looking a little more attractive to him right now. You can read the story here.

One always likes to have one’s opinions validated, especially by the Supreme Being. God agrees with me. God hates iPods too.

-Smith

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taking up a glowing cinder with the tongs and lighting with it the long cherry-wood pipe which was wont to replace his clay when he was in a disputatious rather than a meditative mood" ~ Dr. John H. Watson ************************
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