Comments on: Mary’s Lamb, a poem http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/ taking up a glowing cinder with the tongs and lighting with it the long cherry-wood pipe which Sun, 11 Mar 2012 05:59:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: awsiv http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3342 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:57:03 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3342 sadness, reality, loss… and thorns of excitement upon my skin. that was great!

Thank you!

]]> By: alison http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3333 Wed, 05 Mar 2008 06:19:24 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3333 You are better than Poe. My stomach just dropped about ten feet below the floor. Wonderful, Smith. L, Ali

Alison, any time I can impress a poet of your talent, I feel I’ve done a good day’s work. But Poe? You’re making me blush, really. Thank you for visiting and leaving such kind words.

-sps

]]> By: spasmicallyperfect http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3325 Sun, 02 Mar 2008 23:10:24 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3325

I like to keep you a little off balance. ;)

Actually I’d say you keep me IN balance. :-)

Awwwwwwww. I try. ;)

-sps

]]> By: Beto Ochoa http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3324 Sun, 02 Mar 2008 03:43:32 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3324 It is in want that we are broken.
Then the suffering magnifies.
So many questions.
The child was lost…or the loveless union the fault
Or, for all the love a barren womb or seedless man
Regardless, in the desire lies the suffering
The broken lay in the shadow of it’s passing

Hmmm, interesting interpretations. It’s gratifying to see that the poem can be understood on different levels.

Think good thoughts Smith. You’ve earned them.
Beto

Good thoughts don’t always lead to good poetry, at least not for me. It seems that some of my best poetry comes from the darkest corners of my mind.

]]> By: writerchick http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3323 Sat, 01 Mar 2008 18:02:04 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3323 Hey Smith,
Painfully beautiful.

dreams of pink and lavender
TV fills the house with joyless noise

perfect.

Annie

Hey, Annie, thanks for stopping by! Yes, a lot of people seemed to like the “dreams of pink and lavender” line. I was bit surprised, to be honest.

“Perfect”, eh? I don’t know what to day, really. High praise indeed, especially coming from you. I’m genuinely touched by your comment. I’m truly glad you enjoyed it.

-sps

]]> By: Lolly http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3322 Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:45:32 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3322 I KNEW you were going to say you weren’t being macabre! And I know it.

Not intentionally, anyway. I realize my poetry is a bit on the dark side, and some, like “All Hallow’s Eve”, and “The Ghost at my Side”, are indeed macabre. But really this is just an outlet for my own dark side, a healthier one than some of the other outlets I’ve tried in my lifetime.

-sps

]]> By: Angelica http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3321 Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:18:50 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3321 Wow I love your writing, it’s powerful. Oh, the despair and torment a mother has of losing her child is so dreadful.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hi, Angela! Thank you for visiting. I’m glad you liked the poem. I’ve taken the liberty of adding you to my blogroll.

-sps

]]> By: Sam http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3320 Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:52:22 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3320 Very intense. Much more so than I was prepared to encounter. Sadly exercised through your words. Once again a fine display. Thank you sir.

Thank YOU for those kind words.

sps

]]> By: spasmicallyperfect http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3319 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:33:06 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3319 Should have known better to trust the sweet title and picture, after all we are dealing with Master Smith here ;-) .

I like to keep you a little off balance. ;)

I think what makes this so great is what is said and what is only implied. Also the rhythm switches from awkwardly dragging to smooth flowing, with the sentiment changing from happy and safe to painful and uncomfortable.

Exactly. I tried to make the rhythms in the “waking” scenes rather harsh, while using the sing-songy, almost childish rhythms for the dream sequences.

‘And then her baby comes to her
In dreams of pink and lavender.
With laughing eyes and chubby face
And little dress of silk and lace.,

If the rhythm of this read out loud passage could be seen in colour it would be pink and lavender. Just love this.

Another thing I love:
,the morning sunlight hits her aching eyes,
It is so important that her eyes are aching before the sunlight hits it, as well rested and happy people will have momentarily aching eyes ’caused’ by the sunlight. Again a perfect example for one sentence telling the entire story of what the last thing was she did before she fell asleep.

Ah, aren’t you the clever one. I was wondering if anyone would notice that.

Well done Sir, well done.

Thank you! It always means a little more coming from you.

sps

]]> By: Gugel http://murderofravens.org/2008/03/09/185/#comment-3318 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:40:33 +0000 http://murderofravens.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/185/#comment-3318 Wow, you truly have a God given talent for conveying emotion and making an audience understand a feeling without making them feel uneasy or uncomfortable.

Thank you! With a poem like this, I try to show rather than tell, and let the reader draw his or her own conclusions. Thanks for stopping by!

-sps

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